help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize