I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
