I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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