No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
