yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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