How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
