i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
