I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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