Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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