you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I had to cum in my sink.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
