Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize