Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Randomize
