Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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