Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
fuck your aforementioned shoe
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
