a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
