How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
