My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My friends, they love my intelligence
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
