Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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