Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Randomize
