I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
