Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I love you.
Bad choice
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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