its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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