she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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