Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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