So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
