Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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