walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
