this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
