i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
