Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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