i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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