so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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