I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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