I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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