FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
