You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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