i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
