I'm gonna have a badass scar
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
