I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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