If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
