i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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