Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
