Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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