The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
