I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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