I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
