she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
