Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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