Who wears a wallet chain?!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
