I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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