I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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