i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
