Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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