Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
