she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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