You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize