that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize