We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
