The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
