Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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