Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Farmville is her only friend.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
