Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he puts the penis in happiness.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
